Potty Talk

I work in a professional office environment.

OK… I technically work in a professional office environment, but the building I work in is like the Red Headed Stepchild of our corporate offices.  Since we are over here in the building time forgot, we take certain liberties with our behavior and dress.

Anyway, we have had some issues with the restrooms in this building since… forever.  Our building was built when I was a wee lass, and you can tell.  The water pressure is either super low or super high, things leak and stop working all the time, people think smearing poo in various places is funny, and some people hide in the restrooms to talk on the phone and/or nap.

Sometime last year we got these fancy dancy automatic flush things added to the toilets.  They are a little… excessive?

  1. Sit down – flush
  2. Wiggle a bit – flush
  3. Lean forward to get the TP – flush
  4. Use the TP – flush
  5. (repeat 3 and 4 as necessary)
  6. Stand up – flush
  7. Pull up pants / arrange clothing – flush
  8. Open bathroom stall door – flush
  9. Walk out of stall – flush
  10. Stall door swings shut – flush

This is only a slight exaggeration.  I don’t think I’ve peed without having the toilet flush fewer than 3 times since these things got installed.  I mean I guess it is better than people ‘forgetting’ to flush or leaving those weird poo crumbs behind… but really?  We can’t get that shit fixed?

Flush.

photo credit: “Do Nothing” by Jeremy Brooks licensed under CC BY 4.0